Troy, Andy & Wayne

Three tortoises, Troy, Andy and Wayne, decide to go on a picnic.

Troy packs the picnic hamper with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is the picnic site is ten miles away
and it takes them ten days to get there. When they do eventually arrive, Troy unpacks the food and beer.

"Okay Wayne, pass me the bottle opener."

"I didn't bring it," says Wayne.

Troy gets worried and he turns to Andy. "Did you bring the bottle opener?" Naturally, Andy hadn't brought it either.
So they're stuck, ten miles from home without a bottle opener.

Troy and Andy beg Wayne to go back for it. Wayne refuses because he says they'll eat all the sandwiches as soon as he's gone.
After two hours of pleading and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees
and makes ready to go.

Twenty days pass and Wayne still hadn't arrived back. Troy and Andy are starving, but they both agree a promise is a promise.
Another five days pass until they can't take it any longer and they at once pounce on the sandwiches.

Just as they are about to scoff them, Wayne pops up from behind a rock and shouts, "I knew it, I'm not bloody going!"