Exercises for the Over 40's

It is well
documented that for every
minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your
life. This enables you
at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a
nursing home at #5000
per month.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day
when she was 60. Now
she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell
she is.

The only reason I would take up exercising is so
that I could hear heavy
breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about
#400. Haven't lost a
pound. Apparently you have to show up.

I have to exercise early in the morning before
my brain figures out what
I'm doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are
taken by people who annoy
me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach
covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that
you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small
country.

I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump
right out of my glass.