Computer Quotes

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
(Mitch Radcliffe)

"All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you. Therefore, if you can't get them together again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not use a hammer."
(1925 IBM Maintenence Manual)

" There's an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I no longer know how to use my telephone."
(Bjarne Stroustrup)

"Software people would never drive to the office if building engineers and automotive engineers were as cavalier about buildings and autos as the software "engineer" is about his software. "
(Henry Baker)

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. "
(Rich Cook)

"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. "
(Scott Adams)

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. "
(Douglas Adams)

"Now that we have all this useful information, it would be nice to be able to do something with it. (Actually, it can be emotionally fulfilling just to get information. This is usually only true, however, if you have the social life of a kumquat.)"
(UNIX Programmer's Manual)

"User: n. The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot." "
(Dave Barry)

"There are only two industries that refer to their customers as "users". "
(Edward Tufte)

"Manuals just slow you down and make you feel stupid. The directions are too slow, too detailed, and use too much abstract, arcane or academic language -- like boot up instead of turn on the red switch in the back. "
(Neil Fiore)

"For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless, and then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match. "
(Bill Bryson)

IBM poster explaining virtual memory 1978
"* If it's there and you can see it--it's real
* If it's not there and you can see it--it's virtual
* If it's there and you can't see it--it's transparent
* If it's not there and you can't see it--you erased it! "