Church Bulletins: These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. 

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. 

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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

---------------------------------------------------------- Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

             Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.

             So ends a friendship that began in their school days. 

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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Appropriate music will follow. 

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. 

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. 

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. 

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. 

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. 

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. 

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. 

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. 

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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"