AUSTRALIAN DEFINITION OF A 'TRUE FRIEND'

Are you tired of all those namby, pamby, girly,
sissy, completely wet "friendship" poems, that never
come close to
reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that really
speaks to true friendship:

1 . When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and
plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge
whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you've finally had sex.

4. When you are scared - I will tease the crap out
of you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible
stories about how much worse it could be and to
stop your bloody whining.

6 . When you are confused - I will use little words.


7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me
until you are well again, I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your
clumsy self.

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get
depressed because you can only think of two,
and one of them isn'tspeaking to you right now
anyway.

Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really
good friend will help you move a body.

Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.